I got married young.
Not so young that I couldn't drink champagne at my own wedding, but young by most people's modern standards. I didn't care. Anthony and I dated for almost four years before we finally wed, but either one of us will tell you that after only three short months into our very young and carefree relationship, we both knew that our dating careers had come to an end.
Prior to my wedding, I received about forty six thousands bits of unwanted advice from strangers and friends alike, most of them warning me that marriage, in a word, SUCKED. Don't do it, they said. Enjoy your youth and put marriage off as long as possible. As if it was an expensive, one way ticket to a black hole of drab, confined misery.
And after almost three years of relatively trouble-free marital bliss, I have to say - What kind of craptastic marriages are all of these people in?
I LOVE being married. Our relationship has changed in so many wonderful ways. We knew each other very, very well before we wed, but living together as man and wife has given us endless more opportunities to learn about each other and I wouldn't have it any other way. And I certainly didn't expect that I would learn so much about myself in the process of living with my better half - like how to control my temper and the delicate art of compromise. Of course, it's not always cupcakes and rainbows - some days I want to grab him by the throat and squeeze. But then there are those shining, outweighing moments when he does something monumentally sweet to remind me of why I married him in the first place. Marriage is about finding balance. Somehow, despite our crazy life and endless responsibilities, we manage to find that balance and thrive in it.
Here is a small example:
Monday, my back was acting up again. I knew it was going to be one of those nights, so I spent most of the day playing phone tag with my doctor's office, trying to get a prescription filled. Finally, at 5:30, when I was leaving the office, they called to let me know that they had called it in. Score!
So I drive through traffic to get to the Walgreens by my house, only to find that it wasn't ready. What was supposed to be a 15-20 minute wait turned out to be an hour and a half. Grr... So, when I get home at 8:00, having been working all day and stuck at the stupid pharmacy, and my husband had been home doing NOTHING all day, I expect that he would at least have dinner made, right?
Wrong. I walk in the door and immediately notice that the house is completely and totally wrecked. Dishes in the sink, crap all over the floor, opened mail scattered on the dining room table. Even Chewy looked dirty. The sink is running so I know that whatever meat I reminded him to take out is still defrosting, and in my ears, the unsettling echo of gunshots and explosions, sound effects from Anthony's favorite pastime - Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
I will give you a brief moment to register the extent of my horror at this scene.
The resulting outlash of pure, unadulterated rage (including, but not limited to: name calling, tupperware throwing, and I may or may not have told my husband to shove his partially defrosted fish up his a$$ and then proceeded to make myself a tuna sandwich) was not my proudest moment as a wife. I was blinded with fury at his inexplicable laziness, tempted to throw his god forsaken XBox out the window along with his feeble apologies. All in all, one tuna sandwich and a very strong, numbing painkiller later, I had cooled down and decided to forgive my (very lazy) husband.
I know what you're thinking: "Isn't this post supposed to be about how awesome marriage is?" Well give me a minute, I'm getting there.
Yesterday, I had another long day at work, more back pain, and when I was dreading having to clean the house and worry about dinner. But - when I walked in the door, I see that the dining room table is set, candles lit, dinner is already served and ready and the house is CLEAN!
See? Marriage has its ups and downs. But the ups definitely make up for the downs - having someone to share your life with is worth the occasional meltdown. I realize that not everyone is as lucky as I am and I know it's because my husband just happens to be wonderful, understanding and considerate. And I thank God for sending him to me every day!